Monday, December 22, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
My first "boyfriend"
I didn't really have a lot going on after Brandy. A couple of short lived middle school girlfriends. Then in eighth grade, I met a guy named Brad. If there was a guy I had any kind of real thing with, it was Brad. By now, I was a little more ... ok with what was going on. I had had time to reflect on the previous experiences and was just starting to get comfortable with it being part of who I am.
He had transferred in from another school and didn't seem to be making friends very easily, but he and I hit it off. He would come over to the house and we would walk the streets late at night with my brother and the other neighbor kids... generally causing trouble. Anyway, as we were walking, his hand sort of brushed against my leg a couple times. He was staying the night and when we got home, everyone was asleep.
He was laying next to me in my bed (yeah... didn't think anything of it at the time lol). We were talking and somehow the topic turned to girlfriends and then sex. Neither of us had ever been with a girl. I let my hand brush against his leg for just a second. We talked some more and I felt his hand brush my leg. We talked some more and I just came out with it and asked him if her ever thought he could have a relationship with another guy. His immediate response was "with you".
About three seconds later, my hand was on his crotch. He was hard as a rock. An instant later, his hand was on mine and we were rubbing each other. We both kept rubbing until we came in our pajamas pants. We fell asleep shortly after. Neither of us even bothered to change our pants.
Looking back, it was pretty risky because there was no door on my bedroom and my bed was right next to the door. My parent's room was only a few feet away but they always kept their door closed.
He had transferred in from another school and didn't seem to be making friends very easily, but he and I hit it off. He would come over to the house and we would walk the streets late at night with my brother and the other neighbor kids... generally causing trouble. Anyway, as we were walking, his hand sort of brushed against my leg a couple times. He was staying the night and when we got home, everyone was asleep.
He was laying next to me in my bed (yeah... didn't think anything of it at the time lol). We were talking and somehow the topic turned to girlfriends and then sex. Neither of us had ever been with a girl. I let my hand brush against his leg for just a second. We talked some more and I felt his hand brush my leg. We talked some more and I just came out with it and asked him if her ever thought he could have a relationship with another guy. His immediate response was "with you".
About three seconds later, my hand was on his crotch. He was hard as a rock. An instant later, his hand was on mine and we were rubbing each other. We both kept rubbing until we came in our pajamas pants. We fell asleep shortly after. Neither of us even bothered to change our pants.
Looking back, it was pretty risky because there was no door on my bedroom and my bed was right next to the door. My parent's room was only a few feet away but they always kept their door closed.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Brandy... My first real girlfriend.... my first kiss.
I was in sixth grade and found myself with a crush on a girl named Amanda. She was a friend of a friend and well out of my league, but I would go to her soft ball games down at the little league park and talk to her after the game. I asked her many times to go out and she always politely declined. One day, I wound up meeting up with her at a house where she was babysitting. She was content to be friends and invited me to stop by.
When I got there, I met her cousin, Brandy who was 2 years younger than me but was held back in first grade so she was in fourth grade. I thought she was really cute. I got her phone number and we talked several times and before long, she was my girlfriend. Amanda was surprised that I had given up on her and told me she was actually thinking about saying yes to me. Oh well.
Fast forward, I walked over to Amanda's house one day to see Brandy (she lived on the other side of town so I only got to see her when she visited her cousin). We talked out in her back yard and when it came time to say goodbye, we decided we both wanted to kiss... it was our first frech kiss, for either of us. Of course, we didn't really know what we were doing at all and as kisses go, we were probably terrible at it lol but at the time, it was amazing. I walked home feeling giddy and light headed. I loved her as much as an 11 year old could. Unfortunately, we later broke up after she found out I was also seeing a friend of hers named Alicia. I never even kissed the girl or did anything more than talk on the phone. It was just one of those silly "will you go with me" things that kids do. I felt terrible and sometimes, I still think about Brandy and that kiss. Yeah.... I messed that one up. I missed her terribly.
Friday, December 19, 2008
My first sexual interest in a girl
Up to this point in my life, my sexual resume consisted of sexual experiences with a few different boys throughout elementary school. By the time I was in sixth grade, the opportunities to explore with other boys slowed down to an unfortunate halt.
As a result, I began masturbating on a daily basis, usually more than once... But no boys... And still no girls. Sure, I'd had "girlfriends" in the "will you go with me? Circle yes or no" sense. As if that ever counted for anything. Nothing serious. Certainly nothing physical. There was a girl who lived down the street from me who I had this HUGE crush on. She was two years younger than me and the crush started at 8 years old. She was the first girl I was ever interested in and was also to be the girl I would give my virginity to and ultimately, the one I would marry. But up to this point, sexual interest in girls I knew had not even entered my mind.
I never thought of myself as gay. I had no concept of the word bisexual. I was just me. I was way too shy to ask the girl down the street out. My brother and I had earned a bit of a reputation as trouble makers in the neighborhood, mostly for his part, and she was too much of a good girl to be with someone like that so I just became satisfied with daydreaming of her and watching her play out in the yard from my own yard.
I ended up joining a church youth group in sixth grade. Ironically, that was where my first sexual interest in a girl began. An "older woman" from my perspective, she was in highschool. Her name was Jennifer. She's the first girl that made my dick stand up. Cheerleader. She went on to be Homecoming Queen. Way out of my league, of course. I guess the first ones usually are.
There are a lot of people out there with a lot of different fetishes. I often wonder if they know exactly how their fetishes started. I find women's feet to be a turn on... but I do not have a full blown fetish for them. It's fun to lick my wife's soles or suck on her toes or lie back and enjoy a good foot job... but it's not quite a fetish for me. What I am into are a woman's socked feet and shoes... especially tennis shoes. I know exactly how that began. It was all thanks to Jennifer.
We were in the main hall of the building where we had gone for our church retreat. Everyone was pretty much doing their own thing. I was the shy, nerdy type and didn't know anyone so I just sat there and watched television and listened to other people's conversation... the typical stuff. I had never looked at Jennifer, or any girl for that matter... including the girl who lived down the street that I had such a crush on, in any sexual manner. I wasn't repulsed by girls or suppressing anything... it just never happened that I had been in a situation where I looked at a girl like that with the obvious exception of pictures and magazines.
I looked up and Jennifer was sitting on the floor, just inside the carpeted area in front of me, as we all gathered to go over the agenda for our day and I looked down to see that she had kicked off her shoes. She was sitting with her legs bent and out to her side and for some reason, I just couldn't stop looking at her feet. Her socks were so bright, you'd have thought she picked them up off the set of a Tide commercial... her toes twitched here and there as we all listened to the youth pastor talking. I realized I was hard as a rock... I was horny. Not 60 seconds after the meeting was over, I had cum in the toilet 10 feet from where she sat.
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Even now, a woman with plain white cotton socks and no shoes just turns me on... and since then, the fetish has grown somehow to include shoes. I can get completely aroused just walking through the shoe department in the mall. They don't even have to be on the woman's feet. I don't know what it is... the funny thing is, for so long I thought I was unique... but the internet has a fantastic way of opening people up... there are hundreds of people into it. Sure, it's a smaller group than what many fetishes enjoy... but it's still nice not to be alone.
On occasion, when I masturbate... playing with a pair of my wife's socks from the laundry pile... I think about Jennifer and those sexy little feet.
As a result, I began masturbating on a daily basis, usually more than once... But no boys... And still no girls. Sure, I'd had "girlfriends" in the "will you go with me? Circle yes or no" sense. As if that ever counted for anything. Nothing serious. Certainly nothing physical. There was a girl who lived down the street from me who I had this HUGE crush on. She was two years younger than me and the crush started at 8 years old. She was the first girl I was ever interested in and was also to be the girl I would give my virginity to and ultimately, the one I would marry. But up to this point, sexual interest in girls I knew had not even entered my mind.
I never thought of myself as gay. I had no concept of the word bisexual. I was just me. I was way too shy to ask the girl down the street out. My brother and I had earned a bit of a reputation as trouble makers in the neighborhood, mostly for his part, and she was too much of a good girl to be with someone like that so I just became satisfied with daydreaming of her and watching her play out in the yard from my own yard.
I ended up joining a church youth group in sixth grade. Ironically, that was where my first sexual interest in a girl began. An "older woman" from my perspective, she was in highschool. Her name was Jennifer. She's the first girl that made my dick stand up. Cheerleader. She went on to be Homecoming Queen. Way out of my league, of course. I guess the first ones usually are.
There are a lot of people out there with a lot of different fetishes. I often wonder if they know exactly how their fetishes started. I find women's feet to be a turn on... but I do not have a full blown fetish for them. It's fun to lick my wife's soles or suck on her toes or lie back and enjoy a good foot job... but it's not quite a fetish for me. What I am into are a woman's socked feet and shoes... especially tennis shoes. I know exactly how that began. It was all thanks to Jennifer.
We were in the main hall of the building where we had gone for our church retreat. Everyone was pretty much doing their own thing. I was the shy, nerdy type and didn't know anyone so I just sat there and watched television and listened to other people's conversation... the typical stuff. I had never looked at Jennifer, or any girl for that matter... including the girl who lived down the street that I had such a crush on, in any sexual manner. I wasn't repulsed by girls or suppressing anything... it just never happened that I had been in a situation where I looked at a girl like that with the obvious exception of pictures and magazines.
I looked up and Jennifer was sitting on the floor, just inside the carpeted area in front of me, as we all gathered to go over the agenda for our day and I looked down to see that she had kicked off her shoes. She was sitting with her legs bent and out to her side and for some reason, I just couldn't stop looking at her feet. Her socks were so bright, you'd have thought she picked them up off the set of a Tide commercial... her toes twitched here and there as we all listened to the youth pastor talking. I realized I was hard as a rock... I was horny. Not 60 seconds after the meeting was over, I had cum in the toilet 10 feet from where she sat.
Even now, a woman with plain white cotton socks and no shoes just turns me on... and since then, the fetish has grown somehow to include shoes. I can get completely aroused just walking through the shoe department in the mall. They don't even have to be on the woman's feet. I don't know what it is... the funny thing is, for so long I thought I was unique... but the internet has a fantastic way of opening people up... there are hundreds of people into it. Sure, it's a smaller group than what many fetishes enjoy... but it's still nice not to be alone.
On occasion, when I masturbate... playing with a pair of my wife's socks from the laundry pile... I think about Jennifer and those sexy little feet.
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