Monday, March 22, 2010

One night stand...

It wasn't intended to be, but that is what it was. I saw a girl at the lake near my mother's house. I managed to get her phone number (from her father) and called her up. I'll call her by her initials... SL. We were both in highschool, but she lived across town. For weeks our relationship progressed entirely over the phone. We had never met. One day, we decided we should. I got my older brother to drop me off at her house. Her parents were working. We kissed a lot. We talked. The subject turned to sex. She was a virgin, I was not. One thing led to another and we were naked on the bottom bunk of the beds in her room. I was on top of her.... we had not planned this out so I had not brought a condom. My real life girlfriend (now my wife) was home doing whatever she was doing while I was taking the virginity of a girl I had literally just met face to face for the first time. We had lots of talk over the phone about seeing each other and doing it again, but it never worked out.

We are friends now on Facebook. Neither of us have ever brought it up. I added her, she accepted. We've not even talked... not even online. We just sit there on each other's FB friend list. She was one of only three women I have had sex with. I wonder if she ever thinks about me... if she even realizes who I am or if she is one of those people who accept every invite. We're both married now. It wouldn't matter anyway.

I fell in love online once...

MJ... I met her in an MMO... Star Wars Galaxies. She was actually the friend (both real life and in game) of a woman I had a crush on. The two of them were always together and before long, the three of us were playing 5 or six hours a night... five or six days a week. The game was so much fun back then.

Socially, I am pretty shy, especially around new people, so I didn't talk much to MJ at first. I thought she was amazing... but way out of my league. She thought I didn't like her because I didn't talk to her much. Being shy usually gets me the "you must be innocent and naive" reaction. It was no different here. I'm a bit of a nerd at heart and that comes out in social situations. Until one day, our mutual friend was late getting into the game and then came on long enough to tell us she couldn't stay on. We went out on our own because neither wanted to offend the other. We got to talking. We discovered we both liked each other... a lot. More and more it was just the two of us. We were both married and came up with our own code to alert each other when our spouse was watching over our shoulder so we could watch what we say. We fell in love.

It was not long at all before she discovered I was not as innocent as I came across. I already knew she wasn't. We lived so far apart and I never got to meet her face to face. Unfortunately, I made a mistake and took a week off from the game and did not contact her. She was hurt by it. Others had hurt her before. We are still friends, but the romance was ended. I still love her. A part of me always will.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Submission

My sexual interests, specifically in porn, tend to shift from time to time. It seems that whatever I am into at the time tends to take over. Lately, I have felt especially drawn to porn involving submissive men and more dominant women. I've taken a real interest in the pics of pussy licking men, which is interesting as up to this point, I have never really had much interest in those kinds of pics. I'm also finding myself drawn to pics of women fucking men with strap-ons and MMF bisexual threesomes. Mostly though, it has been all about the pussy.

When I say "dominant women" and "submissive men", I'm not so much talking about the kind of porn where the man is considered filth and beneath the women... where they are humiliating him with derogatory names and physical and verbal abuse. It's hard to explain... consider instead the way a woman would feel about a puppy or the condescension that might normally be reserved from an adult towards a child. In other words, I enjoy a submissiveness where the woman is superior to the man in a more casual and natural sense. One where she can punish if she needs to, but not that she must do so in order to subdue him or to specifically humiliate him for her own pleasure. While I do enjoy the sense of humiliation, I prefer it to flow more naturally. I guess a better way to put it is I prefer the woman to be placed on a pedestal by the man rather than the man being forcefully subdued by the woman.


The last two times I have showered with EC, I have taken the soap and washed her from head to toe. I especially enjoyed the time I spent on my knees in front of her, soaping her pussy... her ass... her legs... her feet... while the water cascaded off of her body... splashing me uncomfortably in the face while my cock hung erect in obvious enjoyment. When I have licked her pussy the last few times, I have positioned her conspicuously at the edge of the bed so I can kneel down on my knees to make her cum. I love being at her feet.


She is shy and timid by nature. But in my mind, she is in control. I serve her because I love her and because it is my place. I love the way it makes me feel. I wish we could make this a part of our normal, everyday life.